A Siamese cat we had when I was a kid stole a whole roast, defrosting on the counter. I wish I could have seen him drag that thing from the kitchen to under the guest room bed. Mom just cut the nibbles off and cooked it. Once we found it.
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When the family assembled for Sunday dinner,
Their minds made up that they wouldnāt get thinner
With Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes,
And say, in a voice that was broken with sorrow,
āIām afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow:
The joint has gone from the oven like thatā¦ā
Then the family would say, āItās that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteaser,ā
And most of time, they left it at that!
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I once had a tortie who was very adventurous. sheād eat carrots, broccoli, tofuā¦ granted, it was usually from my ramen bowl, so iām sure the salt played a factor. but most cats wonāt even TRY that sort of thing.
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Last night I was eating a vegetarian chile relleno burrito which included rice and beans. George flipped his shit, sniffing around and trying to steal off my plate. Heās never done that before. I gave him a forkful of rice and beans, which he ate with gusto, then went for a nap.
Iāve had them try to steal fish or meat, and Sylvia goes for pizza, but this was just weird.
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my aforementioned tortie was a total gourmand, i swear. she would insist on only eating full-fat milk or cheese, liked real butter, and would turn her nose up at anything less-than. skim milk? low-fat cheese? margarine? NOPE. but she also would go BANANAS for this vegetarian pepperoni i used to buy for pizza. aside from tuna juice from the can, that was her most favorite thing in the world.
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I had a cat once who got along great with the dogs, and one day we discovered why.
We came home to find the dogs lined up in front of the counter while the cat distributed food and treats. The dogs thought it was fantastic. Stuff from cupboards and too far back on the counter was suddenly available. To them, the cat was a hero.
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When I was a child, the family dog dug up and ate so many carrots the vet was worried sheād poisoned herself.
She also ate all the Huckleberries off the bushes if we werenāt careful when we went out to the woods
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My best friend had a malamute who would steal lettuce. It was her favorite food, bar none.
No explanation for that!
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Dyson likes green beans.
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Yogurt. Ruby goes crazy over plain old yogurt.
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We had a golden retriever who could eat blueberries off bushes. And would also eat daylily blossoms. And apples that fell off of trees.
I think she was vegan.
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I had a black kitteh that made lettuce disappear, cried very loudly if I didnāt give her a bit of the broccoli I was choppinā, tried to steal entire bags of Doritos, loved fresh pea pods, and freaked out for popcorn.
My tiny Tuxedo fluff ball (slightly senior to the hungry alpha) loved pepper jack cheese.
Our standard Siamese can eat an entire carton of yogurt if we let him, but the other cats will not eat human food. Though, I have caught The Tailless Wonder trying to drink beer a couple times.
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There was a stray in my old neighborhood who would break in through my basement window. One day he got upstairs (basement door was normally locked) and ate a whole bag of jalapeno potato chips. I found him moaning on the kitchen counter when I got in.
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Poor kitty! Probably really hungry.
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Priceless!
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Can anyone tell me what a āhipsterā is? Iāve heard jokes about them for years, but I donāt think Iāve ever seen one.
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Gentrified beatnik or anyone who is younger than me that I donāt understand.
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Someone who used the word hipster before it was cool.
Basically, a mass of contradictions, found throughout the first world but with an epicentre around the Pacific Northwest.
A young-ish man who will lecture you about minimalism and the simple life, yet who spends enormous amounts of money on handcrafted this and bespoke that. Someone whoās deeply into irony, yet doesnāt realise ālocally sourced coffeeā is an oxymoron if you live in the Pacific Northwest. Someone who writes articles for Medium about detaching from mass consumerism ā using their top-of-the-line Macbook.
Someone who lives in jeans (albeit skinny ones), flannel, t-shirts, and hiking boots, yet who hates to get their hands dirty.
Oh, and also someone who co-opts things working class people have done for millennia ā use fermentation to make bread, beer, kombucha, and other things, for instance ā and not only do they think they discovered it, but they think no-one else knows about it.
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