Did you hear about the hipster who was into ice skating before it was cool?
He drowned.
My view on this: Being a hipster is one of those “the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference” things, applied to culture. That is, a hipster is someone so committed to being counter-cultural that they’re as trapped by it as someone who is indoctrinated into mainstream culture.
And drives up the price of many of those things to the point that the poor people who depended on them can no longer afford them.
It sounds like any average American.
I don’t know. I can’t imagine someone who buys everything from Wal Mart drinking kombucha or fussing about whether their chicken eggs are ethically sourced. Either they can’t afford to care, or they don’t care period.
I’m slicing wife’s fresh baked bread with a long serrated knife.
Wife: Oops, hope I didn’t bump you.
Me (being funny): Hmm, there’s a sausage in the bread.
Wife: Is that “bone-in” sausage?
Topped. Always topped.
ETA: Actually the idea of “bone-in” sausage makes me think. 
This is ominous.
If only this passed (if nothing else, the deadline for filing has passed, so it won’t happen this term):
She’s my representative! Good on her!
Same.
I always knew the road to hell was well-used by joggers.
One reason exercise is bad for you. 
Yeah, that’s too dangerous. You’d end up in the metaphorical Hell in your attempt to run to the literal Hell.
I got a chill from the whooshing of the point flying past the the dudes replying to that tweet.
Every time I see the oxymoron “unborn child” I want to hit someone.
That’s gotta be Hell, Michigan, right?
You know it!
I can honestly say that I’ve been to Hell. Several times.
